4th December

It seems that I arrived ages ago, but it’s actually only been a few days… I spent today down at the cottage trying to get things sorted… it’s now clean and ready inside for the removal men to arrive. Hopefully that’ll be tonight, but it’s late already so I’m thinking tomorrow is probably more likely.

I still haven’t been able to get the phone and internet lines connected… I should have known everything couldn’t possibly go smoothly…

Not much else really to report… I’m kind of at some stage in between my new home and the old one… but not quite homeless, and not quite on holiday… It’s a little unsettling, a bit like waiting at the platform for the train to arrive… but I know I’ll soon be settled… and I’ll no longer call it ‘the Cottage’ instead it’ll be plain and simply ‘home’!

As I knelt today lighting a fire, I felt very welcome there, like it would soon be my home… I would soon have my photos and stuff all over the place, and Mr Tom would soon be snuggled up in on a rug in front of the roaring fire… I liked that feeling… I have a strong connection to the cottage; I guess I always have… And now I feel like my life gone past has been leading me to this point… it feels so right, and that gives me comfort.

I always have very strong ‘gut feelings’ about things, and I tend to trust those instincts… I’d like to think that if I’d made the biggest mistake of my life, I’d know it… and today, deep down in my gut I felt content and confident… so I’m thinking that’s a pretty good sign!

With my internet not yet set up, I’m only able to get online at my brothers house… it’s great that I can still get online, but his wireless has gone haywire, so I’m only on once a day (he and 4 kids share the PC)…

I hope you’re all keeping well, and will catch up with you all soon… x

The bad weather has put a slight delay on delivery of my stuff... but I'm not really all that surprised considering how rough the weather has been here this weekend.

The weekend has flown past, and all my good intentions have also flown by.... (oops!). I was planning to have done some cleaning and painting already, but have instead been taking it easy.... (slapped wrists, I know). I did BUY the paint though, so have everything I need to get started... I just need the motivation now.

I went and had a good look round the cottage... it looks OK, needs a bit more work than I'd imagined (and more than I'd been told), but even so, it's still OK to move in, and nothing is urgent.... it can all be done in time...

Today we went to the Bazaar in town, and it was strange to walk round thinking that this is my home now... I felt completely unconnected from the whole thing... I knew nobody outside my family, and felt completely overwhelmed that I'm here for good... Maybe the problem is that I'm going away on holidays now soon, so I'm not here permanently, and I'm not even living down in the cottage yet... I'm sure it'll sink in after spending a week there, just myself and Mr Tom...

Home...

Just a quick post to say I have arrived safe and well... Traffic was a nightmare getting to the airport (I wish I'd taken the express train instead), and the flight was very rough, and it would seem that we're to expect up to 45 ft waves tomorrow... It's a good job we have a great view from here in the warm, as I think it'll be pretty rough at the beach... am glad I've got my camera charged up and ready to go...

Mr Tom is staying with my parents, and has settled in OK... I hope he'll be OK... he's not used to a house with so much going on, and so many people around... at first it was too much for him to handle, but he seems to be getting used to the boys, and it having snuggles with them too... which they love as much as he does... I know I shouldn't worry, but I can't help it... :)

I'm staying with my brother and his family this week while I unpack, get services installed and get some cleaning & painting done...

It was already late when I got in, so I haven't been down to the cottage yet, I'm expecting my things early in the week so will go down there tomorrow and have a look round to see what needs doing...

It feels kinda weird now... it's been years since I've been in there, and even longer since anyone I knew or cared about lived there... and now I will make it my home... it already holds so many memories for me, from childhood, and of my grandparents... and I am looking forward to making many more happy memories there in the months and years to come...

It all feels a bit surreal, like I'm just here visiting... I'm still waiting for it to hit me!

I will say goodnight for now and sign off, as I'm still exhausted from the past few weeks, and I have a busy week ahead to look forward to...

Good night and God bless xxx

29th November 2007

Well, yesterday came and went without much fuss… I was finished on time but the Removal men turned up a little later than expected, so I was able to have a little bit of peace and quiet and put my feet up before they arrived. I am genuinely impressed with them so far. They came in, figured out what was and wasn’t going, asked if they could bring their van closer to the front door, asked if I had any requests or questions then they just got on with it… They were a little gutted there was no trolley in the back of their van (apparently it should NEVER be taken out), but they didn’t complain… Instead they lugged the boxes and furniture manually and 40 minutes later they were done, and getting ready to go.

Mr Tom clearly wasn’t as impressed as I was with the removal men, so as soon as they started moving boxes around off he went for a little walk until the coast was clear again…

Little did he know that things for him, were going to get worse ;)

Mum came out to collect Tom and I, and she arrived to find us in an empty flat having pizza leftovers for breakfast. He was already pretty stressed about the situation, so I figured getting him into the front loading cat carrier was going to be hard… I didn’t think it would be near to impossible.

I only got Mr Tom last Christmas, and until the day I collected him, he’d never been in a pet carrier… and has never really liked them… So, after an hour of trying to get him in the carrier, and considering I was WAY overtired and very emotional I started crying… How could I have gone through everything else and been OK, but to have started crying about a cat not wanting to get in his carrier – boy, this was getting crazy…

So, in sheer desperation I decided that I didn’t want to fight with him over it, and so off we went to the Vet to try and buy a top loading carrier (which I always wished I’d bought in the first place). Surprise, surprise… they didn’t have one big enough, so we found ourselves at the pet supermarket shopping instead…. We bought the biggest one available, and although it looked a little smaller than my other one I thought it would be alright (how wrong was I?)…

After getting a cheeseburger each, mum and I headed back to see if we’d be any more successful this time… Mr Tom was a little curious about the new carrier, so came over to see what this was all about…. I just lifted him and put him in, he was NOT impressed… it was a little too small for him… the pet store said they would take it back if it was too small, so I decided that he was in, so we’d go… and I could change it another time…

We loaded Tom in the car, packed everything else in, and headed back to my parents place… I’d already almost nodded off in the car a couple of times (which isn’t great as I was the one giving driving directions – tut, tut) and as soon as we got in, I let Tom out of the carrier, sat on the bed, and was asleep in what seemed like seconds.. I only slept for about 90 minutes off and on, but it felt like the past couple of weeks had taken their toll, and I could have slept for a hundred years (OK, slight exaggeration, but that’s what it felt like).

Originally I’d planned on returning to the flat to clean and spend the night, but the boys were so happy to see me and Tom was pretty unsettled and nervous, so I decided it was best to stay the night with them. He hadn’t left the bedroom at all since we’d arrived, but at about 4.30am he decided he wanted to explore, so kept walking on me til I finally got up and did a walk round with him… Then he was content and let me get back to bed and curled up too…

I treated myself today, and had a lay in, til about 9.30am… Although I still don’t feel caught up on sleep, it felt really good to sleep for more than 3 consecutive hours…

Calm before the storm.....?

Hey, Just to let you know that I got everything packed!!!!!

With a total of less than 2 hours sleep last night, and a mad panic at the end, it's done, and I even have a few moments of peace and quiet before the removal guys show up... They should have been here about 10 minutes ago, so any second now I should hear the truck pull up...

Yesterday mum came over to help, and I'm so glad she did.... Firstly, I wouldn't have gotten finished if she didn't, and secondly, we had such a laugh! We were like two teenagers giggling and taking the pi$$ out of each other... a memory I know I will cherish.

I will deeply miss my family here, my mum is one of my closest friends... one I can tell anything to, and know she won't judge me - she just accepts and loves me as I am.... I hope my efforts to get them to move out soon will work... they deserve a change and a better life too...

I have two days here to rest before I fly over to unpack all the stuff I'm thrown into boxes... and I'm guessing I'll look at all the same photo albums, and try on the same clothes while unpacking too... but there you go... us girlies, we're crazy creatures...

Poor little Tom is not a happy bunny (in every sense of the word)... he's been pretty stressed out the last two days, because of all the fuss and moving around, and he can't even find a quiet corner to curl up in...

I hope he settles at my parents quickly, as he'll be staying there til I come back from holidays in the New Year (It was going to be too much effort to find someone there who would do it after such a short space of time, plus he kinda knows my mum and the boys already)!

PS - They're still not here, I could have had another half hour sleep... although, I probably wouldn't feel any better for it ;)

PPS - another hour later and they're still not here... could have now doubled my qantity of sleep if I'd have known!

1 day left....

I will keep this post short, as I need to try and get another bit done tonight, and get to bed, so I can sleep and be fresh for an early start in the morning...

With just one day left til the removal men arrive, things round here are getting pretty crazy... there are boxes lined up against pretty much every wall, and even though I have kept Mr Tom his fav box empty, I have found him trying to snuggle up in a box that was WAY to small for him... I think he's feeling the stress... and perhaps he's not getting enough cuddles either :(

Goodness knows how on Earth I have managed to gather all this stuff over time.... I just hope the next move I do won't be for a while, and will just be a local one...

I've made a pledge to be less of a hoarder... I don't want to be stumbling on stuff in days to come, wondering why I kept things... and I've also promised myself that I won't buy stuff just because I 'like' it, or it's 'cool'.... unless I actually need it.... I have found so many things tucked away that have never been used and a lot of them still in their original packaging!

So, tomorrow the last bits will be thrown frantically into boxes, the bed and dining table will need to be dismantled.... Oh, and I also need to try and take my bike down the high street to get the chain guide readjusted....

Thanks to all those who have supported me through this.... you really don't know how much it has helped me get through the past while... I promise to buy you all a beer someday soon ;)

Goodnight my loves... xxx

2 days left til the move....

Well, this weekend flew past, and being the last weekend before the move, I should have really been home getting ready.... but typical me, I didn't... Instead, I was out pretty much from Friday afternoon til early evening Sunday ;)

On Friday afternoon we went into London City to see Santa, and while it was fun for the kids, it was pretty stressful for the adults... it was super busy, and I could feel already my high pulse, was thinking about hitting the roof...

Driving home I was like a woman on the edge... it took me the best apart of 2 hours to drive the whole 14 miles... when traffic get like that, people forget how to drive, and the roads turn to one huge battle ground!

On Saturday I was still showing signs of stress, but I had a lay in, and decided that I wasn't going to let it ruin my night out... so I got ready for the day, and hit the roads again... thankfully the traffic had returned to normal overnight, and I was able to make mental lists while driving that same 14 mile journey in only 40 minutes...

The evening of ice-skating was a great laugh, and I would strongly recommend to anyone that is moving to have a laugh with friends now and again, and to throw in a beer or two... it makes you feel 'normal' again...

I did take a nice wipe out tho (my own fault for trying to go backwards) and as a trophy, found I had a lovely swollen and purple knee this morning... :(

Today at my parents place I was going through some old things of mine, that I wanted to take with me, and I was just walking from box to box, not really able to do anything... it had finally hit me that this is it... the time has come, and I am really moving out of the country... I felt completely overwhelmed, and unable to understand the roller coaster of emotions that started soaring through my body...

So I taped up the boxes, decided I would ship them now and sort them on the other side (a bad idea, I know, but I just couldn't go through all those letters and photos, and drawings without looking at everything, and that could have taken a quite a few hours...)

So, mum put the kettle on for a cuppa, and we got dad to load everything into my car...

On the way home, one minute I was fine, but then the next a switch flicked and the water works started... it was like the great floods had started again... Once I stopped I felt refreshed... I realised that I still had 2 days... it was like the tears had cleared away some of the stress, and lifted some of the weight off my shoulders.

So, with my red and very puffy eyes, I stopped off at tesco to get some cat food for Mr Tom, and a LARGE bar of chocolate for me ;) (the staff there must think I'm a complete fruit loop!)

So, now I have 2 days left til the removal men knock at my door, and start carting all my worldly possessions to the van... I still seem to have quite a bit to pack, but I'm a 'woman on a mission' now, and it'll get done...

Come rain or hail I'll be ready by the time they arrive on Wednesday....

Starting to say goodbyes.... :'(

Well, with the moving day looming, I've found that today I had to say my first real goodbye... I've said bye to others before now, but that was ages ago and before it really hit me that I was leaving the country... and I know they'll visit... so it was ok....

Tonight I said goodbye to a friend I've known for what seems like a lifetime... he knows me better than most, has seen me in the good times and the bad...

In my heart I have a feeling that our paths will cross again... somewhere, at sometime, for some reason... so even though I shed a couple of tears, I should remind myself it's not goodbye forever... more like a "see you soon"...

Moving is supposed to be a happy and exciting time, so why then, do I feel sad, and why am I wondering if it's the right decision??? Maybe it's going from the known to the unknown...?

Whatever it is, I can feel the sadness of saying goodbye settling in the pit of my stomach...

If I put my thinking head on, it's probably to do with the fact that the UK has been my home since I was born...
I've got so many memories tied up in London, I can't go anywhere without something from the past springing to mind...

If I put my emotional head on, I think I'm just like everyone else... I'm scared... It's a big thing digging up my roots and trying to lay them down somewhere else... There's always the risk that it doesn't work...

I hope to be able to keep in touch with my friends, and have all the best of intentions, but will it really happen??? There are some people I know, will be friends for my entire lifetime... I know that no matter how often I see or speak to them, there will always be a link...

I wonder how many of my other friendships will stand this test of time and distance...

Only time will tell...

For those of you wondering, Mr Tom has been in his favourite box for most of today... yep, that's right he now has a favourite - so I'm thinking I'll leave that one just for him... I have plenty others for packing... and I'm thinking, at least if I know he's in that box, it means he can't get packed away into one of the others by mistake... ;)

Thanks to you all for your feedback, emails and kind words... you're all too sweet... I will reply, I promise :-)

Oh, and thanks for the idea to write down the reasons why I'm leaving etc - great idea, and I'm definitely going to do that...

panic = productivity (at least it does in the life of Friel)

OK, so, panic set in good and proper today when I realised that this weekend is pretty much dedicated to non-moving activities... But I must say, that being a creature that works best under pressure and in stressful situations, it was exactly what I needed....

I managed to get loads done, and am feeling pretty chuffed... Mr Tom was even being helpful.... he packed himself in a box, curled up and went sleep... I'm not sure if he just likes boxes or if it was because of the mess around here, or perhaps it was the thought of the 500+ mile car journey with me....

So while England lost at the footy, and while someone else claimed the '10,000 th post mark' I was still finding stuff I completely forgot I had... thankfully this time I didn't have to try it all on ;)

I had stumbled upon another box of goodies.... inside I found a photo frame that I bought way back in April 06... At the time, I totally HAD to buy it, but considering it's been in its box since then, clearly it wasn't a 'must have' item.... it was a lovely surprise tho, like a little crimbo pressie from the flat to me.... Ahhh, gee thanks Flat, hmmmm, how to return the favour.... hmmm, how does new owners sound? Good? OK, done! You can have new owners as a special Christmas pressie to you from me!

OK, I MUST be going insane... not only do I often talk to Mr Tom, but now I'm also talking to myself and the flat..... I really do need to get a job lined up for the new year methinks ;-)

So, to any of you out there who are moving house or will be in the near future... I know you will have probably read this a million times already, but these are a few things I've found helpful, and some I wish I'd done ;)

1. BEFORE you start packing, get a lidded plastic box... inside put all essential documents/items that you will need... - driving licence, passport, council tax bill, leasehold information, deeds for the house etc etc - everything you will need to lay your grubby hands upon....
1a. ALSO, if you take them out remember to put these VIP items BACK inside the box when you finish... or else you'll do like me, and loose something (has anyone seen my driving licence?).

2. When counting up how much packing material and how many boxes you need, add a bit for good measure.... it's very easy to underestimate how many you'll need - and again, like me, you'll end up scrambling round at the last minute trying to find more... (PS, freecycle is GREAT for things like these)..... When I'd gotten down to my last box, mum and I were like a pair of mad women.... if we saw a box we jumped out of our skin to get it!

3. When you've got the removal date planned... block out the weekend (or perhaps even 2) before the move.... don't do like me and plan a jam packed weekend of activities right before the move.... you will probably be behind schedule with the packing towards the end and those weekends will be precious!

OK, that's enough packing tips for now... it's getting late and I still need to go bake Snickerdoodles.... ;-)

Moving day approaches

It has just dawned on me that this time next week, the removal company will be just about to shut the door of their van and head off for my new home.... Oh My Goodness!!!!

Yes, panic has set in good and proper.... yesterday it felt like I still had quite a bit of time, but today it feels like I'll never be ready... why does it feel like that :(

I've offered to bake cookies for a friend who's coming round tomorrow evening, have planned to take the kids to see Santa on Friday, have booked a night out on Saturday and am taking the boys swimming on Sunday.... so now, all of a sudden 'MOVE DAY' is an awful lot closer than it seems.....

Oh, and I still need to bring my bike down to get the chain guard moved slightly....

OMG, OMG, OMG...... breathe.... you won't be able to pack if you're hyperventilating....

I really must dash, while trying to keep the fridge and freezer stocked as low as possible I've also managed to run out of eggs and milk , so have to nip to the grocery store!!!

Can I be your sweetheart?

I spoke to Alfie on the phone tonight (he should have been in bed)...

He asked if he "could be my sweetheart"... how sweet is that.... Of course I said yes, and with that he said "wuv you, goodnight" and hung up...

Aren't 4 year olds great!

Brain dead...

Well, being the kind of person that enjoys work (I know, I know, must be crazy) because of the mental stimulation and daily challenges it provides, it's been quite a challenge being off work for such a long time.

Knowing that I would be away for almost 4 weeks over Christmas and New Year was great, it meant I had 3 months left to pack and sort everything out...

Having time off was pretty good to start with... I enjoyed having time to do all the things I never had time to get round to doing, and I got to see friends, visit family, go away for a little break etc...

But very quickly my mind started to get bored, and I felt like I was going insane and it was getting harder to sleep at night because my mind was too active...

Legal paperwork for the flat sale, ringing round removal companies and packing occupied my time but did nothing to relieve the boredom... I was just going to have to do something about it ;)

So I've been reading loads of books again which is good... not only did it help me with food for my brain, but it also helped me get to sleep in the evenings....

I also stumbled across some old friends on facebook, so it's been good to catch up with them... and I found some new ones there too (hi guys, and yeah, I'm claiming the winnage from all the way over here :p) ...it's been great getting to know people over the last few weeks...


I also feel very lucky that I've has this opportunity to spend more time with my twin nephews because they are just soooo funny....

They are like chalk and cheese, and being the delightful age of 4, I think they'd even manage to keep supernanny on her toes.... They've just started school, so are coming home with some new saying pretty much every day, but, I know I will miss the little monkeys, and I will probably now have an oversized carbon footprint from all the weekend visits I'm hoping to make thanks to Ryanair having such good deals at the moment... ;)

Well, with just a week to go before moving day, I'm off to spend this afternoon packing what I wont need between now and then.... Oh what fun, I'll put he radio on, and boogie the afternoon away at the same time ;)

Where to start....

Well, while moving home is fun and exciting (and also a little scary too)... I must also say that packing is just so mind numbingly boring...

I started the moving process by trying to find a removal company that didn't cost the earth... This was harder than it might seem. Before I decided I was moving back to Ireland, I had planned to move within the UK, and removal companies were relatively cheap, but I also planned that I would probably rent a van and do the move myself after bribing some friends and siblings in to help....

With the destination now considered International it became a little more hassle, so I searched around and eventually, after contacting 47 companies found one who would do it for a reasonable rate, would offer insurance for the goods in transit, and would be able to do the move when I needed it.... GREAT!

Once I'd got the removal company booked up, I started the packing with all the non-essential items... then I had to stop as I was using everything else all the time....

So, with packing on pause I started sorting everything out for the move and doing the paperwork for the flat sale....

But now as time ticks on the moving date has changed from 'soon' to NEXT WEEK and as panic begins to set in there still seems to be quite a bit to do.

So, I spent all last week sorting through stuff... I really don't want to pay to ship stuff that I will only throw away when I unpack, and I also kinda figure it's a good excuse to have a good clear out... after all, I'm starting a new life, so why bring all the old baggage with me.... ;)

I didn't count on it taking twice as long doing this, because you stumble upon that photo album you haven't seen in forever and spend an hour flicking through the pages.... and you have to try on all the items in your closet, just to make sure you want to throw them away....

hmmm, but I might wear it sometime...... (I don't think so)....

I've made a little rule for myself, that if it doesn't fit me (I've gone down 3 dress sizes in the past 18 mts) or if I haven't worn it in the past 12 months, then it's going in the charity shop.... being a hoarder it's painful to do, but it works...

Mr Tom (my cat) has been pretty unsettled since I started this whole thing... At first he thought it was fun, he could snuggle up and sleep most of the time.... but now he hates all the disruption, and all the boxes around the place... and when he does bring in a mouse and let it loose, the little thing has a million more places to hide and takes forever to catch....

It's funny how my tolerance levels for mice have changed since getting Tom... the first time he brought in a mouse I almost had heart failure... He brought it in and let it go in my bedroom while I was fast asleep, and then chased it round the room for an hour before I finally got out of bed to see what the noise was about.... I freaked out when I realised it was a mouse and it had hidden from him behind the radiator. Tom was sat there trying to get it out...

Well, I couldn't think of any other way to get it out, and I know it sounds mean, but it was 4am, I was tired and I had to be up for work at 6am!!! So, I turned the heating on..... yep, the little mouse was desperate to get out once it got a little hot in there!!!

Now a few months on, I've realised that Mr Tom doesn't kill the mice he catches... he brings them home and lets them go.... they play games, and it's weird... but I couldn't really expect anything less in the Friel house....

I've even gotten up in the morning to find Tom and a 'friend' snuggled up in the hallway..... I've become a pro at catching them without hurting or touching them, and I've learned to keep Tom's claws clipped, otherwise they get hurt and it's a mess to clean up in the morning...

I still don't like it when he brings mice in, but it doesn't freak me out anymore, and some of them are so tiny, and really, really cute.... ;)

So....

So... Why the blog?

Well, partly to get some of you (you know who you are) off my back, and partly to blog the story of moving home, moving country and starting my life again at the ripe old age of 27...

As I have already mentioned 2007 for me has been a year of great change... I've heard it said that the life cycle changes every 7 years, but have never really believed it... UNTIL NOW. At the beginning of this year I realised that it was going to be a tough one, and that there would be some big changes, but I never realised that my life would be bundled up into a ball, thrown into the washing machine and put on a full spin.... after the cycle finished my life would be better, fresher, and like new.... I'd been given a second chance...

Not all the decisions I made this year came to me in a flash of inspiration... some of them felt like they were forced upon me, and some of them came so gradually I hardly realised they were happening til I looked back.... but I have learned that sometimes life has to shout to really get your attention... Life was shouting at me.... and now I could hear it loud and clear...

I really needed a holiday... I'd already gone through 12 months (+) of crap, so off I went, to the one place I felt completely at home, where I could be me... no pretending, no fronts, no nothing... just me...

I can remember this was the time I knew my life was about to do a complete backflip... it was back in June, and I was at the home of my very best friend... I remember the moment as if it had just happened... the three of us were playing cards, drinking beer & eating poppers (peppers filled with cream cheese, covered with breadcrumbs and deep fried... soooo good, and perfect with a beer).... the CD was playing in the background but this time I actually heard the chorus of the song "Now she's got 27 candles on her cake, and she means to make her life her own before there's 28"
I could feel the tears stinging at the back of my eyelids... I said nothing but realised that was what I had to do... I had to make sure that by the time I was blowing out the candles on my next birthday cake I'd taken my life back...

As things happened, just 8 weeks later I ended up leaving my job and about a month after that I came to the decision that I would move back to Ireland... after all that had taken place this year, it seemed like the most logical decision... and in my heart it felt right...

I remember being on the phone to my mum, ranting about something that had happened that day which had upset me, and for the first time I said outloud that I'd been thinking of moving to Ireland... it sounded ok when I said it, but I wasn't sure what her reaction would be.... well, she was a little shocked, but she thought it was a good decision... so, and hour after I'd first said it aloud I had come to the decision... I would now seriously look into it.

I spoke to my close friends, to see what they thought - they knew the year I'd had, and all that had gone on, and they too agreed that it seemed like the best decision for me... and if I didn't try it now, that I might regret it in future.... I hate the thought of living with regrets, so I started making plans.... quietly at first... I didn't want to hear everyone's 2 pence worth...

Hello and welcome... ;-)

Well, thanks for logging onto my blog... After a few of you suggested (and nagged a little too) that I start a blog I decided that it was probably the best way to stop you from moaning, and it also might not be such a pain in the butt afterall... so here goes...

Well, not much really to write on my first post, except perhaps a little introduction.

I am the youngest of 7 children, and grew up in London in a very Irish family.... you might think that being the 'baby' of the family, this means I'm spoilt rotten... well, you'd be wrong... a little spoilt yeah, but not rotten - far from it!

I will also say that 2007 has been a year of great change for me... I've pretty much been through it all this year.... but I don't want to get boring and send you all to sleep, so I'll just say that 2007 is the year my life begins again... a clean slate and a perfect opportunity to start again...

... SO, I take this 'once in a lifetime' second chance, and I hope to make the very best of it...